All Souls’ Day is a time to reflect on the lives of all those who have come before us as a way of recognizing their continued presence with us through memory and influence. Those who have gone before us have a kind of ongoing spiritual presence in our lives. Together we can learn from their mistakes, remember the positive good they have done, and celebrate all that is better about our world because they were a part of the human community, because they were part of our community. 

Ernest Hemingway once said: 

Every person has two deaths, when one is buried in the ground and the last time someone says their name. In some ways persons can be immortal.

In 1930s letters of Hemingway

Although I understand Hemingway’s point and agree with it to a certain extent, I don’t think it is necessary for persons to continue saying our name for us to continue to be spiritually present in this world after our physical death. The influence of our lives and actions of our lives remain present in the world regardless of whether people continue to speak our names or even remember our names. All of the love that has been expressed by every human being in the history of all humanity still contributes to our lives and well-being today and into the future. Nothing is fully lost to history because we are all connected to one another. 

The reality that the influence of our lives and actions continues far beyond our physical death challenges us to be mindful of doing all we can to leave a legacy of love rather than a legacy of trauma, to do no harm and to do all the good we can to contribute to beloved community. 

I am keenly aware that what I am calling the spiritual presence in our lives of those who have gone before us is not always experienced as a positive thing. Sometimes the memories we have of those who have died and the influence they have in our lives are more traumatic rather than inspirational. Sometimes the relationship with the dead is not clearly good or bad, but some ambiguous combination of the two. It is sometimes the case that what the dead have done in their lives continue to haunt us in the present, bringing more trauma in the present. There are some who are dead that we may want to forget or at the very least we want to experience healing from the trauma their actions have caused us. 

This is the case with with so many actions that are currently happening all around us. The trauma of the actions of ICE, for example, will be felt for generations. Their memory will not be a blessing for the families and communities whose lives are being upended and who are experiencing the very real pain of separation and loss. It will take generations to heal that trauma. 

This is also the case with the generational trauma that is being created by our inaction in relation to the climate crisis. The fact that we are leaving behind an increasingly unlivable climate for generations to come will not be a blessed memory for those who suffer the consequences of our inaction. 

Hopefully this recognition of the ambiguity of the legacy of those who have come before us that has brought us both inspiration and trauma, healing and heartache, pride and shame, and both lasting values and lasting harm will remind us how important it is for us to live in such a way that the memories and legacies of our lives will increase rather than diminish the quality of life for those who live beyond our last breath and those who come after us. May we attempt to live in such a way that our legacy will be one of love and healing and not one that haunts the future with continued trauma and harm. 

My understanding of how those who have come before us continue to have an impact on our lives is rooted in a perspective that all reality, at its very core, is about relationships and connections – a perspective I share in the following poem:

Relations 

You and I are in relationship. There is neither void nor things between you and me, only relations.

All persons are in relationship. There is neither void nor things between us, only relations.

Those who have passed are in relationship with us. There is neither void nor things between us and them, only relations.

Those who are to come are in relationship with us. There is neither void nor things between us and them, only relations.

We are in relationship with the earth and all living things. There is neither void nor things between us and the world, only relations.

We are in relationship with All there is. There is neither void nor things between us and the Mystery, only relations.

May all we do in our lives together contribute to our blessed memory for generations to come, long after the last time someone says our name. 

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