Trump Wins in a New State!

BREAKING NEWS: After over 50 failed lawsuits and a terse rejection by the Supreme Court of the United States, Trump has finally secured his first victory in a new state! After analysis of all the events since November 3rd, it has become clear that Trump actually has won the state of Denial and its zero electoral votes.

There are tens of millions of US citizens who have also become residents of the state of Denial since November 3rd, but this has not changed the fact this state still has zero electoral votes. Members of QAnon have apparently embraced the theory that denying electoral college representation to what is arguably the most populous state in the United States is another example of election fraud, but since the residents of the state of Denial are also residents of other states, SCOTUS will likely rule that their petition for electoral college votes for their second state of residence would be unconstitutional.

Trump is reportedly planning to raise money for a fund that would recognize the state of Denial as an official state in the United States. Unconfirmed anonymous sources indicate that Trump is planning a series of State of Denial ratification conferences at numerous Trump properties that will be funded by the State of Denial Ratification Fund made possible by generous contributions of his supporters. As was the case with Trump’s inauguration events, the Trump Organization will charge “fair market value” for the use of its properties by the State of Denial Ratification conferences.

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